And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if only i could text you this smell
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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