If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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