Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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