Duck Duck Cougar?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
