my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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