So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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