On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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