idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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