I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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