it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
