he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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