We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
