were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
