I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
