i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
