if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
honey bunches of taint.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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