Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
