So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
