i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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