I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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