I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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