i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
