so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
