I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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