Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
