I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
