there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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