I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I should be sponsored by Trojan
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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