She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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