big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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