high people should be assigned attendants
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize