I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
