I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
