Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.