the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
