Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!