STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
