I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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