went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
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If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
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I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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