I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
