at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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