She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
