Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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