He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize