Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
why do cheetos always look like penises
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
