At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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