This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
