Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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