shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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