Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
