how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
