at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
