about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
