Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
