You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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