Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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