i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
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i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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