lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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