who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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