Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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