Im at strip club and am horny
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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