I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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