so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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