They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
