How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
