Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
