I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
