Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
