Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
